Posts Tagged ‘Said It First’

Druglaced Condoms

Friday, June 12th, 2009

I just thought of this topic today.   But I think it’s reasonable so I’ll share it.  I think condoms with recreational drugs to be absorbed by the body are around the corner.  Imagine if by slipping a little raincoat on my little fireman, I can make a woman high.  Assuming she is consenting then she wanted to be high.  But by mixing the drug effect with the sex effect, the man with the druglaced condom seems like a shoe-in for a repeat sale in the future.

Women, pay attention. Play safe.

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Fwerk

Monday, April 6th, 2009

A conjunction of the letter f and a modified derogatory form of work — werk, this word is used to convey the feeling of underappreciation, insubordination, or the general  desire to have control over one’s own life.

Some Examples.

I’ve been sick, tired, and emotionally drained. I don’t feel like going, so fwerk.  The last thing I need is some holier than thou owner explaining how I’m supposed to be the steward of all things worthy for $5 per hour, so fwerk.

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Seth Said It First

Thursday, January 29th, 2009

If you are under 18, you don’t need the new vocabulary presented in this blog.

While discussing the word lover and what it meant to my girlfriend and myself, we decided we didn’t like the word.  Having love as the root does not make up for the greasy, grimy, sex-only feel of the word.  So I invented a new word to replace lover and to help convey why I don’t like the word lover.  The new word is banghole.  If you are my banghole then you exist for no other reason than so I can put my piston in your shaft and combust. It’s graphic and nearly obscene but now you know what I think of when someone refers to their lover.  It’s the ultimate word in turning someone into a selfpowered object of gratification.

This is because all lovers are implicitly undercover lovers.  The term lovers can mean girlfriends, mistresses, and professional hos.  There should be a search engine to find prostitutes in your area called Yo-ho! But that is beside the point.  See if I say girlfriend then it sounds somewhere between high school and fiance and that is sufficiently vague.  It is also very near girl friend which is just safe all together.

I can see where lover may be just as nebulous and even more romantic than girlfriend.  But before I say “hey lover”, I’ll probably say “yo bitch” and she’ll come over laughing and secretly enjoying the role play dominance I have just exerted.  Because if you just want someone for just that something, they’re not bitches. They’re not girlfriends. They are bangholes.

If you wanna be my banghole, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my banghole, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that’s the way it is.

And that’s the word.  You heard it from Seth first.

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