Posts Tagged ‘God Swatter’

God Swatter

Friday, June 26th, 2009

At Seth’s World, we normally do not sponsor product advertisements but we have a brand new product in stock that we are very excited about.

Have you ever been engaged in everyday predictable life when a god or devil interfered with your well-laid plans? How many times have you left something in one place only to have to look for it later? Gods and their ilk can be quite complicating demanding obeisance and stealing your car keys before hiding them in your couch.

For just $19.95 plus modest shipping and handling, we will send you the scientifically indisputable God Swatter. What you do is spin around three times before opening the seal on the package and then your hands have God Swat power. Simply flail around your room or apartment for a few minutes to drive undesirable deities away. Our aerosol based God Spray can be purchased for an additional fee to clear coat your abode with supernatural repellent. Guaranteed to work better against divine beings than a similarly administered placebo.

Claims against the warranty must be backed by hard evidence.  In the event of product failure (previously unheard of but theoretically possible), you will need documented evidence of the divine presence in the area in question along with written descriptions of the deities mannerisms.  We will subsequently pray on your behalf for 80 days that the deity go away, and in all likelihood, this will resolve your issue.  We guarantee that we will work continuously to remove difficult supernatural forces, but under no circumstances will refunds be issued.  Thank God for science.

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