You think cats are graceful as they navigate treacherous banisters and react with classical catlike reflexes? Well, I tell you they fly like ragdolls when they are trying to rub against you at 2:00am and you push them off the bed. They seem unaware of being annoying although they are more than happy to bite you when they are themselves annoyed. Cat’s are nice, in cages or pictures or with children.
Nightstands on the otherhand are good for being everything cats are not: stable, useful, rigid, and most importantly not annoying. Another thing a nightstand does well is stun the shit out of a cat flying by. I think nightstands might just have a mean streak that rivals mine although nightstands are more subtle about it. I guess you overlook the potential evil in a thing that holds lamps in just the right way to tie the room together.
Anyway, this news item has been a long time coming but the other day I pushed a cat named Marko off the bed and right into the nightstand (or as I like to imagine the nightstand moved to get a kick in). I hadn’t meant for the plush annoyance to be bodily hurled into furniture. I just wanted to get back to doing what I do rarely and that is sleeping. I felt bad for a minute before resuming my mission of rest. Ultimately it just makes me chuckle to think of the event now.
I don’t know if both nightstands are both so cruel, but the one on my girlfriend’s side of the bed shares my nasty streak and we’ve been good friends ever since.