Full of fangs, fur, and crusted blood I prowl the corners of Charlottesville looking for a hapless victim or forty-five thousand. I must pace myself because killing too quickly can lead to another economic collapse as services fail to serve and producers fail to produce because I killed them. I select from bankers, managers, secret service personnel and politicians: the people who don’t seem to be doing anything anyway. They taste a little lazy. They are hard to digest, and no thrill at all to catch; you can find them heading to their cars at 4:57pm any day of the week – well, 1:57pm for bankers.
But we need bankers, managers, and politicians, you might say, except you have no wish to draw the attention of the massive figure that is me with my bright red eyes glowing out of my silhouetted form, which is always silhouetted since its size never fails to blot out the sun casting a brilliant glow on the edges of my fur. Bankers manage our funds. Managers manage our resources and politicians manage our laws. Those are the claims you would make, that it is important that funds, resources and laws are managed.
As I chew on a fully armored bodyguard, which is I might add a more tasty treat then the greasy politician, I ponder this truth. It is true that we need our funds managed, but it is not true that the banks have managed funds well. Similarly managers fail to manage personnel and politicians fail to manage our laws. On top of that, bankers tend to have trouble with their own funds, managers with their own productivity and politicians with their own ability to follow the rule of law, leaving me to wonder what exactly was the benefit of focusing their livelihood in avenues they clearly are not fit to pursue.
I am fit to pursue, and I do pursue screaming paralegals, political science majors, and Sarah Palin advocates. Because these are people with futures, making them pleasantly flavored, but also these are people who will probably fail to think at some point right before thirty and never ever start to think again. They won’t know it, and they will make faith based policies – meaning they are thinking with their gut. I fail to see how indigestion is a very good source for financial planning, human resource allocation, or social order.
I feed on you, the one who knows what is right without a doubt, the one that knows how it all began and how it all ends. I feed on you, the one who knows that social norms are the will of the majority and the rest of us should know better. You make me stronger and faster but only to a point. Because in the end, you are all the same. You scream your little prayers and shout your useless curses. And best of all, the economy continues just fine without you. I prowl the streets looking for your friends to find another victim or forty-four thousand nine hundred ninety-nine.