A lot of people have provided various criticisms to my general thoughts and that’s fine. Sometimes I wish people would just list the stuff they know I don’t like about them as a sort of like angst-prevention opportunity I could use to choose to ignore reading from certain people.
I believe in the goodness of people. Friends of mine don’t always agree because there is still violence and unethical selfishness in the world. People do get taken advantage of and it can seem to drown out my claim about humanity. But mostly, I think people could lynch and kill me if they simply wanted to and they don’t. Mostly people let me in traffic more than they try to kill me. More people let you in line than try to rape people. Most of us know what to do in a Penn State situation. I’ll get to why I’m loose with facts later but I’m under the impression that in general crime is decreasing, wars are reducing in scope, the world is progressing in morals. It’s getting better because people who would benefit from traditional ways keep acknowledging the underprivileged in a painfully slow but optimistically consistent direction.
I question everything. A lot of people think I settle on the beliefs I have but then don’t think to ask my exwife how different I have been. In some ways, I’m a new person each year because I’ve taken so many mental shifts. I like that except for the frustrating nagging feeling that nobody pays enough attention to me to keep up. They see a contradiction, I see growth and continued effort to grasp enough of complex problems. A lot of people think I’m as atheist as Phelps is a Westoboro Baptist but I’m not. I question whether atheism is a good label even when the idea of gods is very settled for me. I’m not exactly my lack of belief.
I like pornography and I like women’s rights. I believe in voluntary exhibitionism. But I hate marketing. I like when people want to be attractive to me but I want to ensure they don’t have to. I’m pretty sure that no matter how ugly people tried to be, I’d find a way to be turned on somehow. So I think people are prudes. I think dress codes are outdated. Yet at the same time, I see a fun aspect to fashion, dress up, kink exploration and just in your face “ha ha I’m naked bitches!” kinds of pictures. I’m cool with that. Other people are not our toys automatically. But some people are more than happy to let you share in an aspect of voyeurism into their interests. I could talk about pornography all day because I love it so much. But you catch me spending a lot of time pointing out that a message like this
is going to be seen for its information and also it’s going to be seen for the attractive attributes of the speaker. Neither are exactly wrong but I argue that she should be seen for her statements first. And you should act cool and pretend you didn’t know she was pretty because the content of her video isn’t about anything visual. She has to make her breasts relevant. Otherwise, you keep your breast interest or disinterest to yourself. Get it?
Then I get crazy and go further. What about the gays? What about transpeople? Let’s face it, I don’t know that many transfolk. I may have run into two in my life. Why does it matter? I think it matters because the sooner you decide how they make sense the cooler you can treat them in person. I spend a lot of time wondering how I would interact with white trash for the same reason. I don’t mean that term to mean more than illustrative of a type of culture that is very different than mine. It has aesthetics, it has feedback cycles. It has beauty and it has tragedy. I’m not here to do the math. I like it when people want to open up to me and I’m willing to pay the price of thinking too deeply to get that.
Some people go nuts when they think I am deliberately motivated by self interest. How can being an atheist semi-hedonist make sense if all you think about is yourself? Well, how does all the cracked and warped self esteems of the people you know make more sense? Why don’t you try being honest with yourself? Humanity wants its commitments and its fancy. Why can’t we focus on best practices instead of denying that absolute monogamy is a bad precedent in general? That’s just one thing. Also, now that you know I’m loose with my definitions of monogamy, maybe my partner(s) will feel more free to discuss when they have or have just felt like having interactions of an adult kind with other people. It’s not that I don’t understand why you would feel that way. But how am I gonna get to the level where people will talk to me about that instead of telling me everyday how they are Stepford Wives while they are real people with real interests. I want the realness. I’m willing to pay for that with ambiguity.
But maybe mostly people dislike the fact that I’ll say what I’m thinking from the top of my head. Sometimes it’s genius, most of the times it’s disagreeable. I tend to challenge any statement someone else makes as part of my philosophy to think critically. I use it effectively against marketing. I overdo it against friends. But I’m not going to stop. And I’m going to say I get the misogynistic messages in rap even though it’s clear that I have different values. I’m going to say being marginalized is a fairly honest excuse for why you might feel the need to stop worrying about how someone else is marginalized too. It’s not right but the real solution comes from including those people into the conversation and it’s counter productive to attempt to silence them. Keep critiquing them though on their content. Those that do still rap misogynistically still have a wake up to go through. But they aren’t wrong to have said what they think. And they aren’t wrong because they thought it. They are wrong because elevating marginalized groups benefits everybody and so they are in some ways chopping their own feet out from under them.
I actually think my views of helping other people helps me. I’m so selfish, I care what you think. How nutty is that?