That Time My Parents Did Something Well

I’ve got a lot of complaints about a lot of things because I can be a critical perfectionist. But, my parents did one thing apparently really well judging from my peers and my opinion of their parents. My parents did a good job building an environment where I got comfortable expressing myself almost without regard to what the topic was. I’ve argued many points with my parents. I feel like I’m often from a different political world than they are. I’ve been outraged by them. And I never once got the feedback that the problem was in the fact that I communicated. The problems are the problems and the communication is infrastructure that everyone needs.

Communication is a big topic and not every way was good. It still isn’t good. I still don’t understand them as much as I wish I could in some alternate world. Some of my friends have enviably amicable and easy relationships with their parents. In the one part of communication which is sort of first amendment-ish where the right to start the conversation and keep going until you feel the issue has been expressed, my parents deserve platinum stars. Not everybody was raised to value that and I feel like it shows in the modern political environment.

The people who don’t treat expression like I do tend to do it for sensible peace making reasons. But I think ultimately it leads to a less desirable world where all the same disagreements are happening in people’s heads quietly leading to pathology. Put a disagreement into words and find the shape of the difference like it’s a science and revel in a world which produces support (and misguided belief) for so many different views. You gotta love reality or hate it in general. I hate certain behaviors, but I’m comfortable with different viewpoints. That’s one part of reality even I don’t pretend I can change.

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4 Responses to “That Time My Parents Did Something Well”

  1. Susan says:

    Communication is such an odd subject for you to discuss. Over the 30 some years that I have known you I have found you anything but communicative. I hope that life has brought folks into your life that you are able to be open and emotionally intimate with. It is one of the wonderful things in life.

  2. Seth's World says:

    You bring up a fair point. Communication is a broad subject and what I’m acknowledging our parents did well in this post is a specific aspect of communication. Also, being able to communicate doesn’t negate the fact that I can choose where to put that effort. I feel like we talked on the phone maybe a year ago and things were cordial so your complaint must be about how often we talk.

    I agree that you’re not going to feel like communication is a strong point. We haven’t been on the same page working toward the same goals in as long as I can remember. When you’ve got something to accomplish, I’m all ears. Otherwise, I recommend you don’t view absence of communication as a bitter pill but rather each person struggling to accomplish their individual goals.

    Remember that time you facebooked how much you hated me randomly? Those kinds of things lower my interest in communicating for sure. And this is kind of a minor version of that.

    Thanks for the comment.

  3. Susan says:

    Oh Seth. If you read that note as me hating you then you and I are totally speaking different languages. We are polar opposites by birth so I could see that happening. I hope it doesn’t bother you that I popped by and read your blog.

    All the best,
    Your little sister

  4. Seth's World says:

    We are very different people still.

    Read what you like, the blog is public.

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